The Dream, the Fear, and the Honda Accord

This past weekend, I was at a Memorial Day BBQ chatting with another parent while our kids ran around on sugar highs. The conversation drifted, like most do when parents are unsupervised for more than five minutes, toward our kids and their futures.

At some point, I found myself admitting something I’ve been wrestling with for a while: I’m genuinely concerned that my children may not be able to give their families the kind of life my wife and I are giving them now.

What surprised me was that this wasn’t just my fear. Almost every parent around the grill nodded along. None of us could quite explain why we felt this way, but we did. And we weren’t being pessimistic. We’re doing okay. But something still feels… off.

I’ve spent a couple of days thinking about it, and I think I’ve finally got it.

My parents were immigrants. They didn’t just work hard; they sacrificed. They left their home country with little more than hope and a willingness to grind. They didn’t take vacations. They didn’t buy new clothes. All so my brother and I could live better than they did.

And we have.

But in giving our children more, have we accidentally given them less of what made us? Less hunger. Less resilience. Less perspective.

Maybe we skipped a step.

One of those smarter paths? Community college.

It shouldn’t be something we whisper about, as if it were a fallback plan. If your child is 18 and unsure of what they want to do with their life, which, let’s be honest, is most 18-year-olds, community college might be the best choice they can make, not just for them, but for your family’s financial future.

Let’s Look at the Numbers

According to the College Board’s 2023–2024 data:

• Community college tuition (public two-year): $3,900 per year
• In-state public university (four-year): $11,260 per year
• Private university: $41,540 per year

And that’s just tuition. It doesn’t include room, board, books, or the cost of changing majors (which most students do at least once).

A study from Georgetown University’s Center on Education and the Workforce found that students who start at community colleges and transfer to four-year universities graduate at similar rates and with comparable academic performance to students who started at four-year institutions. In other words, starting at a two-year school doesn’t limit your child’s options. It just provides a more affordable foundation.

Still, so many parents hesitate because it feels like we’re settling. Like a two-year start somehow reflects poorly on us.

Let me be clear: your child’s path does not have to validate your parenting. Community college is not a reflection of intelligence or ambition. It’s a smart, flexible, cost-effective strategy.

We Need to Stop Parenting for Appearances